Because I Can't Tell Anyone Else....

What I write here today is only because I know no one that I see on a regular, weekly basis reads our blog. I am not ready for people here to know, I don't want to see them at church or other social functions and get the "pity" look, or answer questions, or comments. But I need to get it out. My friend left me a voicemail last week, after my ultrasound, to see what we are having (IT'S A BOY!!!) and also, asked if it had all it's fingers and toes. I have avoided calling her back.

Rewind. Last week at my ultrasound the tech found an unusual membrane lying on top of the baby. I was referred to a Perinatologist, who wanted to see me immediately, despite the fact that their schedule was already booked, double booked, and even triple booked. We waited a long time, but were not very nervous about the appointment. When the doctor saw us, he did another ultrasound and told us that the membrane was from the amniotic sac, which has partially ruptured. He said it is very serious, and that I am considered extremely high risk. Actually not me, but the baby.

The baby is currently OKAY, with no known complications. But that can all change. The risk is that the membrane will tear more, causing "bands" or "rings" that can wrap around the baby's limbs, cutting off circulation and causing self amputation, or limbs may need to be amputated after birth. These bands can also restrict growth, wrap around the umbilical cord (obviously NOT good), restrict growth of other organs, and cause facial deformaties which can restrict growth of the brain and cause mental disabilities.

The doctor told us he this the outlook is good facially and mentally, because he did not see any current deformation, and the brain looked normal, and the skull has already formed, providing more protection. And again, there are no current (as of Friday, July 2nd) visible deformaties or loss of limb. But there is no guarentee that it will stay that way. We can only hope and pray that all will continue to go well with the baby's growth and development. Apparently my condition is pretty rare, and the specialist doctor has only seen 4 or 5 cases in his career thus far. It's really a weird feeling being "high risk" and "rare." There is nothing we can do to prevent it, and there is nothing we did that brought this condition on. It just "happened."

Kevin and his Dad gave me a priesthood blessing, and Kevin's Dad also gave him one. Our families also fasted for us this past Sunday. We feel strengthened, and trust in the Lord, but are obviously very nervous. It is going to be a loooonnnngggg 20weeks. That is if I make it that far. We have absolutely no idea what to expect as far as delivery goes, although I doubt I'll carry until 40 weeks and be allowed to go into labor on my own. The doctor wants a team of specialists present for delivery, to cover every scope of what might possibly happen. One of his examples was an ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor incase the baby swallows some of the membrane and cannot breathe. We have so many questions for our next visit, although we know we won't get any real, concrete answers because of the unpredictability of our situation. Really, we have no idea what to expect in these upcoming weeks. Please pray for us!

You can see in the picture below the membrane, lying over top of the baby, kind of enveloping it.